I'd go for a 4-Runner by all means. I've driven 2 4-Runners in the past and I love them.
1) The 4-Runner beats the heck out of the Xterra on all points, smoothness, more power, look, and more heavy duty.
2) It might lose to the Montero on the smoothness, but the Montero is just too sissy for off-roading and towing.
3) It can lose the comfort (space & smoothness) to the Land Cruiser, but the Land Cruiser might still give the same accelleration as the 4-Runner because it's heavier. I don't think the Land Cruiser can tow more than 5000 lbs but the 4-Runner's limit. You can also have fun all day long on the mountains or desert with the 4-Runner, while I doubt the LC is heavy duty for off-roading.
The 4-Runner's advantages as described above including the MPG (well not really when it can consume 16 MPG for local and around 20 for highways). Its ride isn't too harsh if comparing to the truck. This is the trick to make it smooth. Run it on 4x4 on the time and I guarantee you the ride will be a lot smoother. Also, replace the stock shocks to Tokico shocks (about $250) and you'll see a big difference in smoothness.
The disadvantage of running 4x4 is the speed limit at 95 mph, and the MPG. The MPG can drop down to 14 MPG.
As Cribbj said, women won't like this ride because they're more like trucks. Anyway, I like it a lot so I bought my Tacoma with the same engine as the 4-Runner, and similar ride like it.
