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Another classic from the secret annals of the U.U.C. (Underground Upgraders Club) and Mani J.
You got a problem Jack… You decided to run 30 PSI on those puny stock turbos and/or run a 200 shot of NOS through them. To make it worst, now you have to squeeze every bit of that going to the corner store, for a case of beer. We all understand the beer issue. You got to keep your buddies happy or they will snitch on you to your SO about all the "fixing" you’ve been doing to your car. This goes back to handling things like a man since you puked one of the compressor wheels through the exhaust pipe. Son, you can’t be messing with them peashooters. This is the time to go get yourself a single turbo. Since you have no clue as to how to go about it, pull up a chair and let us tell you all about how to do it.
Check the coffee can that you’ve been stashing the cash for the upgrades. You’ve been doing it regularly haven’t you? If you’re like me, there is nothing much left in there. We’ve been conveniently using it for the upgrades. After all that’s what it’s there for, right? Don’t panic. We got the solution for that. You need to make $10k and in a hurry. Wait wait wait!! Put the gun and the ski mask down. That is the plan B, if you fail plan A.
Plan A is very simple. Remember on the UUC we’ve mentioned about no paper trail. Well, time to throw that idea out the window. This requires far more intelligence and planing than anything you’ve been doing in the past. For this step, credit cards are your friend. Look around and you’ll see some pretty good deals on them. Hopefully your credit is decent so you can get one with a good rate. Use your work address so the bills won’t get into your SO’s hands. Ha!! You didn’t’ think of that did you? That’s why we are here.
How do I make the payments? You ask. We’ll this is where the saying "you got to pay to play" comes in. You’ll have to take out $40.00 from the ATM instead of the $20.00 and stuff it in the coffee can. This is not for your upgrades anymore. This is to keep your *ss out of divorce court. Remember you doing oil changes and tune-ups for your buddies. Well, all of a sudden, you got to start charging them a few bucks for your time. You have a bill to pay each month. Don’t forget that. Remember that bonus you get for busting your ass at work. The SO don’t need to know about it anymore. It goes to your credit card payment. Part time job on Saturdays is not a bad idea. "Honey, I’m taking a class on Saturdays at the local community college" is one way you can free up the time. You can make her really happy if you say that it's a knitting class. But, we leave that part up to you. No Jack, you’re definitely not taking an auto mechanic class…
Once you have the CC payments handled, you got to break the news to the SO. You can’t really hide this one from her. There is no way you’ll explain the Ferris wheel that is sitting on the side of your engine to be what it came out with out of the Toyota factory. You’ll have to tell her something. Timing is the key here. Pick a date/time when she is in a good mood and break the news to her. Tell her that you blew the turbos. She will undoubtedly ask you how it happened. This is where being prepared pays its dividends. Tell her that they’ve been going south for quite a while and you’ve been babying them as long as you could. Not only this will get some sympathy from the SO but you also found a way to justify half the cost of the project. You will use this money to buy the single turbo and the CC to buy the fuel system. See, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If she tells you that the turbo looks different from the previous units, tell her that you decided to leave the heat shields off. She wouldn’t know a twin turbo from an under drive pulley so this should get you in the clear. If she is one of those savvy curious type, show her the compressor side of the turbo as the first turbo and the turbine side as the second turbo. This will usually work.
There, it wasn’t all that hard now was it? Just remember to keep your foot off of the right pedal when she is in the car with you. You’ll have to let that Viper or the Z06 go. Don’t worry you’ll have your chance some time when she is not with you. Plan and execute this correctly and you’ll be happy as can be instead of having to go through withdrawal symptoms while sleeping on the couch.
UUC on how to do a single turbo conversion without the Significant Other (SO) confining you to the couch for the rest of your life.
You got a problem Jack… You decided to run 30 PSI on those puny stock turbos and/or run a 200 shot of NOS through them. To make it worst, now you have to squeeze every bit of that going to the corner store, for a case of beer. We all understand the beer issue. You got to keep your buddies happy or they will snitch on you to your SO about all the "fixing" you’ve been doing to your car. This goes back to handling things like a man since you puked one of the compressor wheels through the exhaust pipe. Son, you can’t be messing with them peashooters. This is the time to go get yourself a single turbo. Since you have no clue as to how to go about it, pull up a chair and let us tell you all about how to do it.
Check the coffee can that you’ve been stashing the cash for the upgrades. You’ve been doing it regularly haven’t you? If you’re like me, there is nothing much left in there. We’ve been conveniently using it for the upgrades. After all that’s what it’s there for, right? Don’t panic. We got the solution for that. You need to make $10k and in a hurry. Wait wait wait!! Put the gun and the ski mask down. That is the plan B, if you fail plan A.
Plan A is very simple. Remember on the UUC we’ve mentioned about no paper trail. Well, time to throw that idea out the window. This requires far more intelligence and planing than anything you’ve been doing in the past. For this step, credit cards are your friend. Look around and you’ll see some pretty good deals on them. Hopefully your credit is decent so you can get one with a good rate. Use your work address so the bills won’t get into your SO’s hands. Ha!! You didn’t’ think of that did you? That’s why we are here.
How do I make the payments? You ask. We’ll this is where the saying "you got to pay to play" comes in. You’ll have to take out $40.00 from the ATM instead of the $20.00 and stuff it in the coffee can. This is not for your upgrades anymore. This is to keep your *ss out of divorce court. Remember you doing oil changes and tune-ups for your buddies. Well, all of a sudden, you got to start charging them a few bucks for your time. You have a bill to pay each month. Don’t forget that. Remember that bonus you get for busting your ass at work. The SO don’t need to know about it anymore. It goes to your credit card payment. Part time job on Saturdays is not a bad idea. "Honey, I’m taking a class on Saturdays at the local community college" is one way you can free up the time. You can make her really happy if you say that it's a knitting class. But, we leave that part up to you. No Jack, you’re definitely not taking an auto mechanic class…
Once you have the CC payments handled, you got to break the news to the SO. You can’t really hide this one from her. There is no way you’ll explain the Ferris wheel that is sitting on the side of your engine to be what it came out with out of the Toyota factory. You’ll have to tell her something. Timing is the key here. Pick a date/time when she is in a good mood and break the news to her. Tell her that you blew the turbos. She will undoubtedly ask you how it happened. This is where being prepared pays its dividends. Tell her that they’ve been going south for quite a while and you’ve been babying them as long as you could. Not only this will get some sympathy from the SO but you also found a way to justify half the cost of the project. You will use this money to buy the single turbo and the CC to buy the fuel system. See, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If she tells you that the turbo looks different from the previous units, tell her that you decided to leave the heat shields off. She wouldn’t know a twin turbo from an under drive pulley so this should get you in the clear. If she is one of those savvy curious type, show her the compressor side of the turbo as the first turbo and the turbine side as the second turbo. This will usually work.
There, it wasn’t all that hard now was it? Just remember to keep your foot off of the right pedal when she is in the car with you. You’ll have to let that Viper or the Z06 go. Don’t worry you’ll have your chance some time when she is not with you. Plan and execute this correctly and you’ll be happy as can be instead of having to go through withdrawal symptoms while sleeping on the couch.
